Just when you thought you had it all…

That “zsa zsa zsu” as Carrie Bradshaw put it.

That all your fascinating, astounding, surprisingly domestic talents & gift for various tradesmen like skills could be keep you grounded. That being wonderful, charming & thorough would be enough. Or simply the art of making your surroundings peaceful & beautiful would be secure your place. Poof. Just like, that the magic and fairytale disappear.
But what a mirage like a fairy tale it was. Silly me.
Somedays, I felt like I was living in Goldilocks. Constant glares, under handed jabs, not so subtle passive actions: Too busy. Not busy enough. Too thin. Not thin enough. Too modest. Not modest enough. Too dainty. No character. Too delicate. Too small. Too plain. And that’s how he made me feel. Weak. Afraid. Shy. Incapable. Uninteresting. Stupid.Totally dependent. And then the bomb… Left me with nothing. Left us with nothing. Despite my closest confidantes reminders of all the things they know i am meant to do & be. My cheerleading squads constant aww of my capabilities; it is as if the damage from all the cruelty had already been done. I don’t feel brave.